January Almost Over!!

Can't believe how fast January flew by this year. It is usually my LONGEST month of the year and always glad to have it done. One more month of winter GONE. One more month closer to spring!!    Can't wait to get out in my (flower) gardens and get to work. And I can't wait to be doing it while hauling less of my own weight around. Know I'll have more energy and get more done.

This first month of this journey towards better health and weight loss also went by fast.    And it's gone really well and I'm proud of myself.   Lots of room for improvement (especially in the exercise area) but I'm feeling good about the start.    Eating lots of great foods.   Getting my kids to try a few new things.   Eating more meals as a family.  Almost completely cut out fast food.  Logging my food almost every day.   Dug out the exercise DVDs and tried a few.   Got back on the Wii Fit and added Wii Fit Plus.    Started working on our new home gym.    And of course, can't forget that I'm down 12 pounds!

I really want to set up some definite goals for February.   I'm going to work on that and post them on Monday.  Something that can help keep me accountable and motivated.   Something I can measure and not focus just on weight loss.  

Have a great weekend everyone!!

“Be willing to stop judging against yourself. Bad urges don’t make you a bad person.”

— Deepak Chopra

A before and hope-this-is-how-I-look after picture...

We have a screensaver type of thing on our TV that shows our pictures. This one below popped up yesterday. I hate pictures of me. I REALLY hate pictures of me displayed on a 52 inch screen.





This picture was taken last March while we were on our vacation in San Antonio, TX. Obviously, I'm the one on the left. The one on the right is my baby sister. I don't remember being thin. Probably because the last time I was thin, I thought I was fat. I can't visualize thin. However, I can look at my sister and since we share a chunk of DNA, maybe I can visualize looking like that. Now that probably isn't too realistic since a) at 6 feet tall, she has 5 inches on me. b) she's 17 years younger than me, all the exercise in the world won't make up for that age difference and c) we don't share the same father so we share even fewer genes. Anyway, her shape is definitely something I strive for. She's healthy, she's fit, she's an athlete. (In fact, at Christmas she looked even better - think she lost the freshman 15 instead of gaining it!)

Despite the age difference (I left for college before she was a year old), my sister and I are VERY close and I know she'll be one of the most proud of me when I succeed on this journey. She's away at college in Florida and I might not see her again until May so I'm really hoping to shock her with my progress between now and then. Would be so awesome to be 30-40 pounds lighter by then.

Up above, I actually cropped my daughter out of the original picture. Her facial expression is good for some comic relief so I'll post the original below.

Weekend Update and Weigh In

Aaaahhhh the weekend is over already!!

Friday night, we had a splurge dinner and had pizza from our best local place. I made sure to enjoy every bite guilt free. After all, my life will always include pizza from this place! Life just aint worth living without it. LOL :) We have gotten in the habit of ordering two pizzas lately so there is always leftovers for the morning (it is really good cold!!) but this time we just ordered one which was more than enough for us three for dinner. We've also gotten in the habit of taking our pizza and going to our separate places to watch TV while we eat it and this time we sat at the table and ate together as a family. My best success was not snacking on ANYTHING from dinner through to bedtime. In the past, going 'off plan' like that would lead to a huge bingefest of everything bad to eat. I had the pizza and enjoyed it and that's it.

Saturday was a busy day getting stuff done around the house but took the time that night to have movie night with my girls. Need to do that more often! Had a hard time that night resisting snacks but I succeeded. I remember at one point standing in the kitchen looking for something to eat and telling myself you aren't even hungry. So I left the kitchen telling myself you can only come back if you feel actual hunger. Didn't happen and I felt great about it!

Earlier in the day, I made a new pizza for us (we used to have pizza 5 times a week so two days in a row is nothing...). Of course, this time it was a much healthier version. Whole wheat crust, sauce, turkey pepperoni and low fat cheese. My older daughter questioned the crust right away but ate it just fine. The younger one only ate the toppings. So it was a partial success. I thought it was pretty good although the crust (like the whole wheat tortillas earlier in the week) will take some getting used to.

Sunday, my mom came over and made some AWESOME turkey chili. It was a great lunch AND dinner. And still have a couple bowls left over. My mom is a great cook but unfortunately, I didn't pay much attention growing up to gather any of those skills myself. So I had her show me what she did with the chili and definitely something I can do myself in the future. And I love how it is all 'real' ingredients plus it lasts for a couple days.

The only fruit both of my girls will eat is canned pears. (And even that's a struggle at times for my older daughter.) So with my new effort to make sure they eat fruit every day, they've been having a LOT of pears. For dinner last night, I tried to give them fruit cocktail. First I had to pick out the grapes, then the cherries, then the pineapple so they was just pears and peaches left. My younger daughter finally ate that but my oldest still wouldn't touch it. I did everything to encourage it but finally gave up. Wouldn't let her have an extra snack later because of that which led to a hour long tantrum from her about how horrible her life and especially her mom is. So I guess I'm proud that I stuck to it but darn it she sure makes things hard sometimes. That same daughter did tell me on Saturday that she likes us eating healthier cause we spend a lot more time together. So I'll just remember that and put the tantrums out of my mind.

And on to the best news today... weigh in this morning and I'm officially down 3.6 pounds this week for a total of 11.6. Yahoo!! I'm now .6 below my previous WW start number of 274 (from 5 years ago). Ya know the weight that WAS my highest weight ever... until I found out recently I had a new highest weight ever... So I can stop beating myself up about that stupid number and move on.

Hoping for another great day!

Happy Saturday!

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."

My sister-in-law had that as her FB status and I love it. It really isn't about willpower - you just need to decide to do it and then DO it. My sister-in-law is trying to quit smoking but it's all the same no matter what you are trying to do.

Really hoping for a loss on Monday so going to work really hard this weekend to make sure that happens. It's so easy for me to fall off course on the weekends so going to avoid that by planning my meals in advance and keeping busy otherwise. Have a todo list a mile long so the 2nd part shouldn't be too hard!

Happy Saturday!
Mary

Yesterday afternoon sucked!

Yesterday was a rough afternoon. I had a dentist appointment and it was a bad one. I was so tense during the whole thing even though I made a huge effort to relax. Then at the end I was frustrated that my insurance covered VERY little and I had to put the $1200 charge on my credit card. When I got home, I was tired and stressed. When the numbness in my mouth finally wore off, I ate a whole bunch of junk and felt even worse. Well it wasn't complete junk - at least compared to what I would've eaten a month ago. I think I had 4 granola bars, pretzels, dry fruit loops, fruit snacks, almonds, and 2 WW ice cream bars. All within an hours time. Then I decided I needed supper and had a big bowl of honey nut cheerios. And what's really bad is that I had to be mindful of my chewing because I have a temporary crown and can't chew on my right side so I can't even pretend I wasn't aware of each and every bite. I felt guilty the whole time and knew at the time it was classic emotional eating. I knew I could and should stop but didn't really care. A couple hours later - at only 7 pm - I was falling asleep on my bed while trying to watch TV. Big surprise - that is what happens to me when I eat too much sugar. Then the acid reflux kicked in and I was afraid I'd throw up. Haven't felt that in a LONG time. Uggggghhhh.

Well that was yesterday and things are going so much better today. Thankfully God has given me a new day and a fresh start. What a blessing! So I'm going to take whatever lesson I can learn from yesterday and move on. :)

Oh it hurts so good!

I woke up with proof that I did indeed exercise yesterday! A whole bunch of new areas of pain in my body. But unlike my usual and somewhat random foot, knee and back pain, this pain was in places I knew I worked yesterday and it felt GOOD! In additional to the Biggest Loser DVD and a few minutes on the Wii Fit, I also rode for 5 miles on my stationary bike last night while watching Biggest Loser. It's a great start.

My girls LOVE tacos. Well their version of it anyway - just meat and cheese. So last night I tried something new and made ground turkey breast meat instead of ground beef. Also, used whole wheat tortillas and low-fat mexican cheese. While I was cooking the meat, my older daughter asked what was wrong with it cause it was so light. Thankfully though, my VERY picky daughters loved it and after their first two tacos with 'regular' hard shells (didn't want to make too many adjustment too quick), they asked for a soft shell one. Wasn't sure how the whole wheat tortillas would go over (I was having a hard time with it myself) but they didn't make a single comment about it. It turned out to be a great meal (both physically and socially) and since the meals both of my girls will eat is pretty limited, I think we'll be having this version of tacos often. And who knows, maybe someday I'll be able to sneak a little lettuce in there for them too. Any time I can get my girls to eat something healthy (or just healthier!) is a HUGE victory for me. Baby steps.

Last week, I wrote about my older daughter who doesn't eat ANY fruits or vegetables having a smoothie. It was made of just strawberries, blueberries and some sugar free orange drink mix. Now seriously, if a put one blueberry and one strawberry on her plate she might try to nibble on it but most likely she'd literally make herself physically sick. So having her 'drink' a cup of strawberries and a 1/2 cup of blueberries was HUGE. So I have decided to make smoothies for us every day after school. Yesterday, I made a smoothie with orange juice and banana and a 1/2 cup of fat free yogurt and she LOVED it. And with it, she had some of the mini chocolate rice cakes. What a huge improvement over the after school snacks of her past. She wants a strawberry and kiwi and banana one today so we'll see how that goes. My younger daughter took a tiny bite of yesterday's smoothie and wasn't interested in it all. Not as worried about her though as she does eat applesauce (no sugar added kind) and baby carrots every day so at least she's getting something in the area of fruits and vegetables. Good enough for now. Again... baby steps.

Plans for today:
5 miles on the bike.
Find my favorite Walk Away the Pounds DVDs and do one.
Play cards with friends at my mom's tonight and NOT binge on snacks
After school strawberry-banana-kiwi smoothie.
Journame my food and stay within WW points.

Feeling good today!!

Finally exercised!!

I made a plan and followed through. Amazing how that works. In honor of Biggest Loser tonight, I did the BL Boot Camp video. Well most of it anyway. Might take me a few more times before I can keep up with all the moves but I did keep moving the whole time and felt great when it was done. Still had a little lunch break left so I set up the Wii Fit. It scolded me a bit for being so long since my last visit but then I ended up resetting the user data and I'm starting fresh. By the time I got through all the tests and such, didn't have much time left but did try a few of the new things that were added with the Wii Fit Plus. Going to get back on tonight! Yahoo!!!

Also, tried a new Lean Cuisine meal for lunch - Roasted Honey Chicken. So great and tasty!!

2 Weeks - 9 pounds

Can't believe it's been 2 weeks already! I'm doing really well on the food end of things but haven't been doing any (extra) exercise. I KNOW I have to exercise to lose weight and I have big goals this week to kick that into gear. My feet feel almost normal for the first time since Christmas so no more excuses. I have to make it a priority. I have to make ME a priority. We have plans tonight so I guess that leaves my lunch hour. WILL get some exercise in and report back!

One week down!

So the first week was a great success! 6.6 pounds down - of course I know the first week is mostly water weight but i'll take it however! 6.6 pounds gone forever!

My motivation is still really high. I'm almost calm about it - a sense of acceptance I didn't have before. Really confident about losing the weight this time.

One of my greatest successes this week was going to the bar yesterday for the Packer game (even though the Packers were'nt successful...). They had a whole table full of food and I stuck with my plan to have just a little of what I REALLY wanted. So I had a few meatballs and small bowl of the wild rice soup. The soup was creamy and had some bacon so probably high in points but I just had a little and I throughly appreciated and enjoyed it. I did resist the polish sausage and chips and other yummy stuff. I had a little and was satisfied. A friend of mine won a big bag of peanut clusters and even though us trying to be 'good' begged her not to open them, she did. At first I felt a little panicked about it because I really love them and knew I couldn't stop with just one. Then I realized I wasn't even all that tempted. Instead I took the bag and used my phone to calculate the points (5 for 3 of them) and decided they just weren't worth it! Other than that, I had a couple 2 point drinks and a few Diet Cokes and a bag of pretzels. No idea on the points but I had plenty left for the day and week and felt good about the whole thing. Also, didn't eat anything after I got home at 7 which was great too.

My BIGGEST success yesterday was getting my 9 year old daughter to drink a fruit smoothie. It was actually her idea to make one and she loved it. I don't think my daughter has had a full serving of fruits or vegetables since she was about 3. It's no surprise she also has a weight problem. She says she likes apples and kiwi but in reality will only nibble a little and that's it. A vegetable? Out of the question! The closest thing she gets to that is tomato soup. It's a constant struggle with us. Anyway, the smoothie had a cup of strawberries and a half cup of blueberries and some sugar free orange drink mix (from the Hungry Girl 200 under 200 cookbook). I'd have never been able to get her to eat even one strawberry or one blueberry but here she was drinking a cup and a half of them! So I guess we'll try smoothies from now on! She has some ideas for other ones too and was really excited about it. And maybe with time she'll finally develop a taste for fruit. It's definately a step in the right direction!

My goals for this week are:
1) Stay within points
2) Exercise on the bike at least 20 minutes a day. Foot is still hurting so unfortunately, have to ease into excercise.
3) Keep blogging/journalling.
4) Follow some other blogs too.

Go Pack Go!

Day #7!! Almost a whole week. Trying to be really good and get some stuff this morning because I'm going to the bar to watch the big Packer game this afternoon. I'm planning on just drinking Diet Coke so I won't be wasting a lot of calories in mixed drinks today. Depending on where we end up going, there might be a delicious food spread but I know I can have a little and it's okay. I will skip the mindless eating that usually happens and pick what I really want. And enjoy it! Good planning this morning will leave me with lots of points left for the day and still have a bunch of weekly points left too. Of course, I have my first weigh in tomorrow morning so that's incentive to keep me in control too.

I've been reading a lot of other weight loss blogs the past fews days and it is so great to read the stories of other people going through the same things I am. Seeing the successes and the struggles are both helpful and great inspiration!

The Weekend is Finally Here!

So here I am on day 5 and things are going good. Got the exercise bike finally put together last night and I rode for 30 minutes last night. My left foot is still causing me lots of pain but the bike doesn't seem to bother it so guess this will be my only form of exercise for now - so really happy to have it! The girls are also having fun with it. My 9 year old daughter has even made a chart and is keeping track of the miles she does. So very encouraging there!

Last night, I had made a Sweet and Sour Chicken in the crock-pot recipe I found and it was AWESOME!! My mom came over for dinner and it was a great time. She's also restarted with WW so it was good to get together. We also went through the Hungry Girl 200 under 200 book and found some great things to try.

In the past, I often took weekends off. It helped me feel less deprived if I knew I had a free day coming up. Like earlier in the week, there was something I really wanted it and I just told myself "that's okay, you can eat it on Saturday" and the pressure was off and now that Saturday is here, I can't even remember what it was. Not that I'd totally go crazy on weekends - especially with a Monday weigh-in coming up - but it seemed to work for me to have a couples days where everything didn't revolve around measuring and keeping track of everything I ate. Anyway, it worked for me back when this was working for me... So not sure yet what I'll do this weekend. Might be too early in the process.

New Exercise Bike

Well it's the middle of day 3 and still going strong. Went grocery shopping again as I keep remembering all my favorites from other times on this journey. For lunch, I tried out a new whole grain bagel I found with ham, turkey and cheese. It was super filling and super satisfying. I've been doing good journalling my food which reminds me how much my eating has been out of control lately. I've been drinking lots of water which of course has me running to the bathroom constantly but I know that's an important part of the process!

Our new exercise bike arrived and I'm looking forward to putting it together tonight. Hoping it is a good exercise tool for me and my girls. My plan is that we'll have three stations with the treadmill, gazelle and bike and we'll be able to exercise together and take turns on each one to keep things fun and interesting. Which brings me to another project I have in mind and that is changing our mostly unused 'cat' room in the basement to a home gym. Although we have an open area in our basement that will work for the exercise equipment, I think having a special place dedicated to working out will be a great thing. A sign of the kind of lifestyle I want us to have. We never finished the drywall in that room so doing that and painting will be the biggest tasks. And when it's done, I can't wait to get a flat screen TV to mount on the wall! At some point, I'd also like to get a weight machine for in there but in the meantime our current three pieces of equipment will work for us.

One more thing... went to the dentist today and while I was sitting in the chair letting my mind wander while my teeth were getting cleaned, I tried to picture how different I could look the next time I get my teeth cleaned. A lot could change in 6 months!!

Me and My Girls

I can't wait til I can look back at this picture affectionately as my last 'before' picture. I do everything I can to be the one behind the camera and avoid being in pictures but it was important to my girls that we have a picture together in our matching pjs on Christmas Eve.

My first post

This is my new weight loss journal. In the past, journalling has really helped - never tried it online so we'll see how it goes... This time it has to work! I have to 'get' it this time. I have to lose the weight. I have to figure out what I haven't been able to figure out in the past. It's no longer about vanity. I can NOT physically carry this much extra weight around. I'm in pain ALL the time. My back. My knees. My neck. And especially my feet. At least one thing hurts all the time. Plus I have high blood pressure and heartburn all the time. I'm 36 years old and my body is falling apart. And the worst part is that I'm causing it all!

The one thing that has worked in past is Weight Watchers. About 5 years ago, I lost 49 pounds and felt great. Then I just quit. Can't remember why. Since then, I've gained back that 49 poinds plus 10. So I signed up for WW Online again. It worked before, it can work again. Unlike other diets, I know this is something I can do long term.

So I'm on Day 2 of tracking my eating with WW. So far so good. Plan to start exercising soon but my feet are really hurting the last couple days. Actually looking forward to being able to exercise.